escalation and de-escalation

Last Thursday, we discussed about the intensity of behaviour: the escalation and de-escalation process, in our Behaviour Management class. Imagine yourself as a teacher in this situation.

Butterfly, an 8 year old girl, is a victim of family abuse. One night, she’s doing her homework when suddenly her sister entered the room and tore her book. Her sister accused Butterfly of reading her diary, when in fact it was the mother. Before she goes to school, her father beat her up with a belt because she spilled some milk on his office work documents. Her mother punished her by not allowing her to finish her breakfast. On her way to school, she wants to talk to her elder sister that she’s hungry but her sister asked her to shut up before she could even talk. At school, she’s being bullied by her friend because she wore crumpled school uniform. Then you, as her teacher, punished her for not handing in her homework. What do you think Butterfly would feel at that moment? Hurt? Angry? Rebellious? Depressed?

Any wrong doing in managing children behaviour at this moment could lead to disastrous consequences. She may grow up to be an isolated, anti-social or rebellious person because everybody is ignoring her feelings. Children in school rebel and show behavioural problems because of so many reasons, bullying, abuse, quarrel with siblings, fight over boys or girls, popularity in schools and others…our family and friends too sometimes show unusual or moodyl behaviour, probably because they’ve been scold by their boss, problem with wife/husband, debt, corrupted computer, flat tyre and others…

As a counsellor, teacher, family and friends, we have to learn the strategies on how to assist them to de-escalate the unease, anger, sorrows, depressed and other feelings that they sometimes can’t even understand.

Some of the de-escalation strategies, that we discussed in class and I found in books are (1) let the student calm down for 5-10 minutes, (2) let them express their feelings and genuinely listen to them, (3) acknowledge their feelings (4) ask them to write or draw about their feeling, (5) ask them to go somewhere quite, (6) let them to listen to instrumental music and many more.

Hope you’ll be able to use some of these skills…